John Bloom's picture
05.13.2008 | Comments(17)

Just Don’t Hold Hands in Church, Okay?

More Episcopalian hijinks: Gene Robinson, who will spend the rest of his life with "first openly gay Bishop" prefixed to his name, is pumping up the volume this summer by getting married to his homosexual live-in partner, Mark Andrew, right before the Lambeth Conference in July. Questions from the cheap seats:

robinson_and_partner

• Why doesn’t anyone ever interview Mark Andrew, the "wife" in this drama? He must have all kinds of stories at this point.

• Was he born with the name Mark Andrew, or did they specifically christen him with two apostle names for this epic union?

• Could this inspire a new History Channel special on Mark and Andrew–"Were They the Gay Apostles"?

• Since Mark was just a boy at the time of Christ, does that make Andrew a pedophile?

• Do we really have to read Gene Robinson’s new book, In the Eye of the Storm: Swept to the Center by God? Can someone just give us the Cliff’s Notes version?

How did this happen in New Hampshire? Isn’t that where the Manchester Union-Leader pops up every four years and tells us what "hearty stock" Americans are made of? I keep thinking it’s Vermont. Now that would make sense. Ben and Jerry may not be gay, but they would be gay-friendly. In New Hampshire, they still wear plaid shirts.

Gene, we love you. That’s the corporate metaphorical body-of-Christ "we," by the way.

You, too, Mark Andrew.


Soon They’ll Discover Elvis

Dr_Who

Doddering vicars in the Anglican church, seeking relevance, have fastened on Doctor Who, the science fiction series beloved by Brits and tolerated by the rest of the world. Concerned about statistics showing that young people no longer find the church even remotely meaningful to their lives, church leaders showed clips from the series at a conference of ministers, encouraging them to "engage with popular culture" by, for example, understanding the episode in which Doctor Who saves a family of Pompeians as "a reference to Genesis and Abraham’s bargaining with God over the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah." One thing you can always count on the English to do is march boldly into the future using references to the very latest 45-year-old tv series.


Mein Gefiltefish

matzoh_swastika

Norman Lee Toler won a major victory in federal court, with Judge Jean C. Hamilton of St. Louis ruling that he was entitled to kosher meals while serving his ten-year sentence for statutory rape in the Northeast Correctional Center in Bowling Green, Missouri. State prison officials had challenged Toler’s request, saying that his 2002 conversion to Judaism was specious, that he had grown up in a Pentecostal home, that he has a jailhouse tattoo celebrating Hitler’s SS, and that he was caught with a cell full of white supremacist literature during a previous sentence for robbery. Here at the Door we believe it is not only humane, but essential, that every Jewish white-supremacist convicted rapist in this country be allowed to keep kosher.


Help from Unexpected Quarters

wright

Just when I thought we were the only Christian publication supporting Jeremiah Wright forthrightly and without apology--his right to speak, his right to prophesy, his right to explain himself, and the nature of his Jesus-centric theology--along comes Jason Byassee with a spirited, reasoned and well-written reminder to evangelicals that Wright is family and we have to deal with him. There have been lots of "defenses" of Wright that implied "he’s a crazy man, but let’s give him a break," but Byassee is having none of that, just as we’ll have none of it. And Byassee has about 9,000 times more readers than we do because he’s an editor at Christianity Today. I guess we’re more mainstream than we realized.

Comments(17)

bruce quinlan | 12:56 am on 5/14/2008

I have never heard Wright mention Jesus when he has the stage, much less ever give Him the glory. The man has his own gospel, that seems to highlight himelf over anyone or anything else. It sure is not about the kingdom of God and destroying the works of Satan here on earth, is it?
Nuff said.

David Williams | 08:55 am on 5/14/2008

No, not nuff. Not nearly nuff. Take a look at this, from Fox News.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAYe7MT5BxM

Yeah, Wright's trying to make the case that Jesus was a person of color, and I've got real problems with some significant aspects of his theology. But if you think he never mentions Jesus, it's because you haven't ever actually listened to him. If you're going to disagree, do so substantively, my friend.

SRebbe | 10:15 am on 5/14/2008

RE: Robinson/Anderson Wedding
I would have loved to have been a fly on THAT wall and witnessed the after party. DJ or band?

RE: Wright
Gordon McDonald also has published his little column, linked to OutOfUr which has been opened for some interesting commentary.

budda | 12:17 pm on 5/14/2008

My favorite "picture" of Jesus is the black/afro Jesus. I dated a girl who's family had a large portrait of the Holy Brother near the dinner table looking across the table at Dr M.L. King's portrait. It has a lot more character than the pasty, Norwegian Jesus. I guess once you worship black, you never go back.

SRebbe | 03:12 pm on 5/14/2008

"of course Jesus was white!"
--Saved, the movie

budda | 06:38 pm on 5/14/2008

How that movie didn't get an Oscar, I'll never know. If you ever went to a christian school, you have got to see it.

SRebbe | 02:44 pm on 5/15/2008

if you've ever been in youth group, you need to see this movie.

budda | 11:01 pm on 5/15/2008

amen

Siarlys Jenkins | 08:53 pm on 5/14/2008

As David Levering Lewis points out in his recent book on Islam and the making of Europe, until about 800 AD there was no such concept as "European." Without it of course, "white" has no meaning either. "White" was a quaint designation made up by "Europeans" in the 1500s when they rediscovered that some people were even darker than Arabs, Berbers and Bedouins, who by the way are not all the same thing.

Jesus was, most likely some shade of bronze, not exactly as dark as a modern Nigerian, but far from as pale as the pagan barbarians lurking in the northern reaches of what later became known as Europe. Likewise, one of Rev. Wright's significant historical errors is that he called the Romans "white" and "European" and "Italian" when at least two out of three of those concepts didn't exist, and the Romans were most likely darker than the present inhabitants of Sicily, who are most likely part African in geneology.

The Norwegian Jesus is an apt reference. The first images of the "White Christ" were painted by bronze-skinned missionaries anxious to make the Savior culturally relevant to their newest converts.

But I stopped unapologetically upholding Wright when it became obvious that he was more interested in grabbing limelight for himself than in what his ill-timed and ill-thought meanderings might actually mean for the future of his flock or our nation. There is nothing prophetic about saying that AIDS was deliberately created to target African Americans (it hit well-heeled white homosexuals first), speaking well of Louis Farrakhan (who isn't even a particularly coherent Muslim), or repeating at any length less than an entire sermon that 9/11 was "America's chickens coming home to roost" when in fact those we have harmed most were NOT those who hijacked the planes, and those who did are enemies of everything Wright, on his better days, eloquently stands for.

Process Deist | 10:21 pm on 5/14/2008

Thank You.
I enjoyed reading your post.
Well thought out and informative.
Next week....another subject.....then I may think your nuts.

Droslovinia | 01:49 pm on 5/14/2008

I think that there are a lot of people out there who have never ever heard an "honest to God" black preacher before, and taking sound bites from some of Wright's sermons has become an effective political ploy. We don't have to be openly racist - just get people worried about "scary black pastors!"

Why aren't we hearing more about the other candidates' spiritual "fellow-travelers?" The fact that they do not get near this attention ought to tell you something about the agenda in reporting the "story."

Of course, we're also evidently not aware that there is a contemporary version of Dr. Who, including new episodes, running on the Sci-Fi channel right now, either, so what do we really know?

SRebbe | 03:13 pm on 5/14/2008

I've seen the contempo versions of Dr. Who, back when I lived with friends who had cable. they rocked.

Siarlys Jenkins | 09:03 pm on 5/14/2008

I try not to comment twice in one day on the same article, but as a melanin-deficient member of a church founded by African Americans, I don't buy the "scary black pastors" bit. On Sept 16, 2001, I heard a powerful sermon which included "We are one cocky arrogant nation. What happened to us last Tuesday was terrible, but don't you know that there are people in the world who wake up every morning wondering if a bomb will fall on their home? What makes our pain so much more important than theirs?" At least five members of the church worked in the Pentagon (people in the rest of the country may not know, but the entire middle level of the federal government is staffed mostly by African Americans), and another worked for the FBI. Pastor's remarks were wildly applauded by some, while others responded with smoldering dismay or resentment. Either way, I see a clear difference between his observation, and the callous "chickens coming home to roost" canard.

Let us also remember, there are thousands of "black pastors" who have been preaching for the last eight years what great Christians George W. Bush and John Ashcroft are, with negligible impact on the voting choices of their congregations. Its not about scary black pastors. Its about a whole lot of different ways of getting wrapped up in one's own bitterness, ambition, or self-promotion, inspiring people by doing good, and then throwing it away on tired platitudes. That comes in all colors and ideologies.

Stephen | 08:34 am on 5/21/2008

The Anglican reference to the Episode about Doctor Who saving people from Pompeii is from the most current season.

Paul in Maine | 03:21 pm on 5/14/2008

RE: Norman Lee Toler -- Apparently Mr. Toler subscribes to the "if you can beat'em, join'em" method of choosing religion.

Amarie | 03:43 pm on 5/21/2008

Hmmmm, let me think of some Jews....I know, one of the great cosmic jokes: Jesus ends up being the spitting image of Sasha Cohen....."See, I standing at door, knocking, ...Come...we sup...Is nice!?!" ... or worse...Woody Allen.

Mark Brux | 04:43 pm on 5/21/2008

I appreciate the effort to be humorous, & I realize the importance of being able to laugh at oneself (most of all in matters of religion), but... is it OK if we finally lay off the cheap shots about gays? It ceases to be funny & sounds a bit forced, especially when the old "pedophile" innuendo & lie is trotted out. I bet heterosexuals would (rightly!) scream bloody murder to hear THEIR relationships, which are just as problematic, dissed merely because (*GASP!*) they consort sexually with people of the /opposite/ gender.
LOVE YOUR MATERIAL OTHERWISE, JOHN BLOOM. AM GLAD YOU'RE IN CHRIST & WITH /THE DOOR/. XXXXXXX OOOOOOO, Mark

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