The Faith of Barack Obama, supposedly a spiritual biography of the candidate, will be released by Thomas Nelson in August [1]and looks to be a quickie cut-and-paste job by Stephen Mansfield, who also wrote The Faith of George W. Bush. The real test of the book’s accuracy will be whether he is able to give a nuanced description of Jeremiah Wright’s theology, which, thus far, the world has been deprived of. Barack Obama is not a Muslim, by the way. The New York Times reminds us of this at least once a week, thereby prolonging the life of the rumor that Barack Obama is a Muslim. There’s been a lot of talk recently about just exactly what Obama does believe, but one thing we know is that the candidate himself should never try to interpret the Bible. Every time it’s happened–see his version of the Sermon on the Mount in “Blessed Are the Swishy” [2]–he’s just bolstered his image as, in the words of James Dobson, a “fruitcake.” [3] The contretemps with Dobson came last week, and was full of scriptural duelling between the religious right and the religious left, with both sides claiming to be apolitical, and with Jim Wallis of Sojourners magazine invoking his superior knowledge of Obama theology because he was physically present at the Obama speech [4] that irritated Dobson, then Baptist Press editor Will Hall weighing in [5] against “former Marxist” Wallis by pointing out–fairly accurately–the ways in which Obama’s scriptural interpretations don’t pass muster. Obama himself offered yet another venture into Sermon on the Mount hermeneutics, but at the end of the day, you can’t hammer the religious right for using the Bible as a rulebook . . . by using it as a rulebook. Barack, you’re a smart guy, read some Karl Barth.

We Told You

Katherine Rankin, a neurophysiologist at the University of California-San Francisco, has recently proven that our sarcasm [6] here at The Door is a result of our finely developed parahippocampal gyrus in the right brain and benefits all mankind, and that Kenneth Copeland, among others, probably has a damaged parahippocampal gyrus so he probably won’t get it when we say we enjoy all his cowboy movies.

One More Nominee for the Flock-Fleecing Hall of Fame

When you’ve watched as many Prosperity Gospel preachers as we have, there are certain code words that you recognize, and certain ways of preaching, and certain mannerisms and rhythms that are common to all of them, but my nominee for the Elmer Gantry Home Study Course would be Daniel S. Mundell, who preaches the purest form of it since Robert Tilton, and who has filed for bankruptcy twice after running through millions in donations, building then abandoning churches, and centering most of his efforts on South Florida, although he evangelizes all across the country, summoning God to create millionaires everywhere he goes. He’s a classic nickel-and-dimer, specializing in the $20 donation and the $300 credit-card pledge, and his latest reinvention of himself is in a Hallandale Beach, Florida, strip mall, where he made the mistake of drawing the attention of investigative reporter Sally Kestin [7], who works for the South Florida Sun Sentinel and got his ex-wife (and ex-co-pastor) to talk. Kimberly Mundell basically outlined the whole financial structure and how it works (with tips from our old friend and ex-con W.V. Grant of Dallas). Get down to the strip mall quickly, because Dan will probably be leaving town pretty soon now.

Deputized Baby-Snatcher Needed

Clackamas County, Oregon, has become the controversial hub of faith-healing practices in recent years after several children have died there, testing the limits of Oregon laws designed to force parents to seek medical help for minors even if their religious beliefs forbid it. The Followers of Christ Church in Oregon City, which had at least three infant deaths in the nineties, was back in the news in April when two parents were charged with manslaughter and criminal mistreatment [8] after their 15-month-old daughter died of pneumonia and a blood infection when they tried to cure her with prayer alone. Now the D.A. is considering charges in another case out of the same church–a 16-year-old boy who died of uremic heart failure [9] caused by a urinary tract infection which could have been fixed, according to the state medical examiner, with a simple catheter. In this case, the boy himself refused medical treatment. (In Judaism and most Christian churches, the boy would have been considered an adult, allowed to make his own decisions, at age 13 or 14, but in this case state law specifies 18 as the age of consent.) Local police also say they have long been frustrated by the practice of area Christians involved in car accidents who refuse to be taken to hospitals. My suggestion is that we send recently rehabbed born-again Dog the Bounty Hunter to Clackamas County, and every time they get one of these reports, send Dog over to the house to say, “I’m taking that baby, and on the way to the hospital we’ll all pray together.” Sometimes you need a bridge between the legal and the religious that’s not too much of either one.